[Here is where Rosso breaks eye contact entirely and stomps back to the stove. At least this way, he doesn't have to look at Adrian or his expression, the droopy wings or tail. He can simply anxiously stir what's boiling on the stove even though it doesn't need to be stirred further, at least not right now, but it's the only thing that's going to keep his hands occupied and away from breaking things. A way to keep his mind occupied while he chews on his bottom lip and tries to sort through every turbulent emotion spiralling out of control.
Frankly, he can't, as it requires a certain level of self-control and awareness that Rosso severely lacks. Perhaps it says something, then, that his anger goes from explosive to quiet.]
I don't half-ass anything. I was fucking terrified to ask in the first place 'cause I figured you wouldn't want that sort of thing. [Adrian probably saw it, even, how he mentioned that to Sparkling loosely. Sparkling being one of the only people who gave him real advice, next to Rose Quartz and Maya... and Kaito's ever-helpful "be brave" pep-talks.] I didn't want to say something and lose a friend just because I got these stupid-ass feelings.
Already let it slip that I'm fond of you... multiple times before that point anyway. ["I'm soft for you" and "you're my favourite" and all.] Of course it meant a lot to me, having a bunch of people try to help, even though I wound up fucking it all up anyway.
[Like he knew he would.]
If I had someone to go to about this shit I would've gone there first... but I don't. And I don't know what the hell I'm doing still, because all my stupid little ideas come from books and stuff online like that. I don't know what you're so fucking mad about, if it's that I didn't do something right or made that idiotic post, but I don't know what he fuck else you want me to do. I'm not a fucking mind-reader.
Adrian stands dumbly in the middle of Rosso's living room as he talks, but he doesn't say anything or interrupt him. He lets him finish, lets him say his piece, because it's what Adrian wanted, right? An explanation. He came in here guns blazing because he saw that post and got all flustered over it, and didn't really even stop to consider why Rosso even made it in the first place. It wasn't just on a whim or to be at his expense or anything like that. He was...trying, even if it ended up being kindof silly.
It's more than Adrian did, which was nothing. It isn't like Rosso wasn't giving him every sign under the sun that the feelings were there, he just chose to ignore it because "no way somebody could like me like that". It's just impossible, right?
And yeah, Adrian knows better than most how alone Rosso is. He doesn't have any of the Masters to go to for advice. The people here were really his only recourse, and the same goes for Adrian in most cases.
Adrian finally moves after what feels like an eternity, stepping soundlessly from the den into the kitchen proper. As much as he wants to come close, he doesn't invade Rosso's space right now because he knows good and well it probably isn't wanted. It's not hard to tell just from his tone of voice that his feelings have been hurt, and for what? Adrian not taking a half second to rub two braincells together.
He's not good at it, but it's time to try to use those words he's too busy keeping locked in his head all the time.]
What you did for me...what you keep doin' is some of the nicest shit anyone has ever done for me, and I won't hesitate to kick your ass if you dare say you fucked anythin' up again.
[...okay, bad start. He inhales through his teeth, pulling a hand through his mane until his claws get stuck and he has to awkwardly shake it free.]
I'm...Ainen, I'm sorry. I came in here runnin' my mouth 'bout shit that I don't know nothin' 'bout. It ain't like I know what the hell I'm doin' either. I've...I've never even tried to do anythin' like this before.
...not like you have.
[...]
All I've done is sit with my thumb up my ass. I'm only here cause'a you.
[And...maybe there's something messed up in his brain that recognizes Rosso as one of the best things that's ever happened to him, and in some wild fit of self depreciation is trying everything it can to destroy it. That, or maybe Adrian is just...thick-headed at the best of times, and has a knack for putting both feet in his mouth at once.
He chances stepping a bit closer until he's standing by the stove, just a few feet away from Rosso within touching distance while still giving him space.]
I didn't mean to make you feel like you messed up.
[He has to wrench himself away from the pot again before he stirs everything into a pulp instead of a soup. Good lord, his feelings are firing on all cylinders right now. Bad. 0/10. He doesn't normally nervous-cook or fidget like that, but it's a lot better than the alternative (screaming, thrashing, throwing knives). It's something to keep his unchecked rage actually in check. Exploding on someone is not something he wants to do, because that just lends credence to his whole point about how he's dangerous to be around.
With a sigh, he turns to look up at Adrian, quickly looking away a half-beat later when he thinks his expression must look pathetic or something of the sort.]
It's hard not to feel like that when you burst in here yelling up a goddamn storm.
[Just being honest!]
If I fucking... freaked you out or whatever, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you on the spot, either. You weren't even supposed to fucking find out about it.
[It's not a great disguise when his username is literally "b99", you know, his subject designation because he couldn't think of anything better — but yeah. Seems a little odd for Adrian to be scrolling back through a month of network posts like that when there are a bajillion of them, but Rosso's not in the mindset to question it at this point. Maybe he was just looking for an old post of his or something and stumbled on that by happenstance. That's believable.]
But I don't get what the hell you want me to do, still. Do you want me to take one of those dumb suggestions? Do you want fucking nachos or a sea monster head or me to start wearing sunglasses everywhere? I need to know what you're actually mad about, here.
[You know. So they can get on the same page. Because it seems odd to Rosso that Adrian comes in here yelling, asking for a "point" and then reminding Rosso that he didn't take any of the advice, only to backtrack when Rosso gets defensive about the entire situation. There's a puzzle piece missing somewhere.]
[No, Rosso is absolutely right to be confused, because the mixed messages Adrian is sending are quite literally off the charts. He knows that, yet it's hard to figure out what even he wants when he's so used to acting on impulse. Flying off the handle. Shouting and cursing until things start to make sense, because life has never really afforded him the chance to stop and think, or to act better than that.
The fact that Rosso can't even look at him right now stings, yet he doesn't feel like he deserves any different when he's the one acting like a fool.]
I don't...want you to do anythin'. I mean...you can do whatever you want, but like...I don't want you to feel like you gotta do somethin' specific or special for me.
[I don't deserve it]
...look. It ain't an excuse, I'll say that up front, but sometimes I just...this fuckin' monster brain, or whatever, it makes me... [He shakes his head, his lip curling. He knows what he's trying to say, but finding the words is hard.] ...I guess you're right in sayin' that post did kinda freak me out a little. Not 'cause of anythin' you did or said, but more like...I saw it, and all I could think about was people pryin' into our business. Your business. Like, I know you asked for advice, but all I could see was people fuckin' with you, and it made me...mad. Like I needed to go say somethin' or do somethin' on a post that's months old by now.
[His throat flexes, because he knows what he's about to say is...insane, but it's the best way he can describe it.]
You're mine now. And the territorial part of my stupid brain wants to keep you an' whatever we're doin' all to myself. It's exactly what I did with that bitch, and I know it, but I...it ain't somethin' I've gotten a handle on yet.
But it ain't all instinct, or whatever. I just don't think before I run my mouth.
Maybe Rosso should treat being told someone's feeling territorial over him like an issue, but... he does not. In fact, if there was a red flag here (and normally, there would be), it's not waving. He's sort of weirdly charmed by it, actually; Elria knows Rosso is equally overprotective, if not more so. He's just... you know, not able to point fingers at shit people do on the internet, mostly because he doesn't really Get the internet. Nor does he quite see advice as an invasion of privacy no matter which way he slices it.
Privacy, though, that is important, because while Rosso doesn't see the network post as an issue... well, he wouldn't have done it off anon either. Partly because he, at the time, didn't want Adrian just seeing that and getting the wrong idea or finding him out when Rosso wasn't too sure if the whole arrangement would work anyway, and partly because people are freaks and stalkers and who knows if someone would've dm'ed him later to ask if he'd "gone through with it" or "how'd your date go" or all manner of invasive things. It was bad enough having Rose Quartz imply that they were Definitely going to fuck at some point (like, that's a known thing that happens, but Rosso doesn't need a timeline), what would people do if he were off-anon saying he'd gone on a date? Count down for him? No thanks.
Rosso doesn't like the spotlight either. And now that they're on the same page, he can at least... well, he doesn't know, because chances are he's going to have to ask someone for more advice at some point so he can get a nice gift or do something right without looking like an idiot. But he knows now, and that's good. It's a start.]
I'm always trying to do things special for you, stupid, that's the point of a relationship. [He thinks.] ...I don't want people up in our shit either. I'm a private person most of the time. It's why I did that whole thing anonymously, like one of those stupid newspapers you send questions to and some under-qualified "life guru" gives you a response in a week. Same shit, different medium.
[...]
Y'know... [Enabling: begin.] You're allowed to be territorial over me. I am yours. I didn't kiss you because I wanted to fuck around.
[Like. He wants to fuck around, but in the gay way, not in any negative ways.]
[The thing is, Adrian only gets protective like this over people he really cares about, and as many people as he considers "friend" in Ryslig, there are only a select few that fall firmly under that umbrella. Maya, Hanna, Kaito...Misha too, when he was in Adrian's life. So it's less a sense of "you can't do things without my input" and more...that he doesn't want to see Rosso getting heckled, or taken advantage of. He's allowed to do that, nobody else. Not that most people on that post were doing that...it seemed, actually, that the vast majority was actually trying to help. For better or worse.]
...and that's fine. Like. ...I make more anon posts than I do real ones. You've prob'ly seen 'em by now.
[Hell, Rosso has commented to several. Adrian's sure he's figured it out at this point.]
So like. Don't think you gotta not make any anymore. It's fine, really.
[Adrian will get over it, he's just got to work through his emotions like a Big Boy.
And that would be that, he thinks...if it weren't for the fact that Rosso keeps talking, and he says that he wants Adrian to be posessive, and he can feel his tail actually curl in response. He wants that...?
...okay, fuck it, he's not just going to keep standing here like a dumbass. He crosses the rest of the space separating them, and since Rosso has turned to face him (he just isn't looking at him), it's easier for Adrian to reach out and tentatively put his padded hands on Rosso's hips. He doesn't do anything, he just...rests them there, warm and soft, to keep a point of contact going as he talks.]
You really do make me mad as hell sometimes, but it's always gonna be over like...dumb shit, okay? Shit that don't matter. So when it matters, I...wanna try to be better about not doin' that. I'd never forgive myself if I fucked up a good thing just cause I can't keep myself under control.
...and. I.
[His ears droop, nearly invisible in his mane.]
Fuck, Ainen.
[Why is it so hard to just....
His paws shift a little, and without thinking he lifts Rosso up, suddenly. Impulsively, like most things he does these days. If there wasn't a hot stove literally right there he would have done this differently, but whatever. He holds Rosso up, chest-to-chest with Rosso's feet not touching the ground, and he kisses him. A bit tentatively, but purposeful. Apologetic. It lasts just for a moment before they part, and Adrian moves his grip on Rosso to pull him into a real, honest to god hug for once.]
[Adrian has two magical abilities that were not granted by the Fog or Mana, it seems.
The first is that, somehow, he can always manage to fluster the hell out of Rosso no matter what he does. Hands on his hips? Fluster. Calling this "a good thing"? Correct, but he's flustered. Picking him up with zero effort and kissing him? Guess what—
And speaking of being picked up... Adrian's second power is that he somehow manages to make Rosso feel shorter than he is. It's an impressive feat. The tallest person Rosso ever met in his life was Gaia at a whopping 6'5", and this feels a little bit like when Gaia would carry Rosso out of fights physically, but like. This is way more romantic and not because Rosso was going to punch someone. So it's better.
All of that being said, Rosso squeaks when picked up, a squeak which is quickly cut off by a kiss. Instinctually, his arms wrap around Adrian's neck to tangle his fingers with his mane, as he so often does... and then from there, it's maybe a little awkward to have his legs just dangling like that, so he quickly wraps them around Adrian's hips. Now, he doesn't feel like he's going to fall. Great news, though! This has unforeseen consequences in furthering the fluster, which he mentally blames on Adrian.
Everything is Adrian's fault now.
The hug, though, that's nice, and Rosso settles comfortably against Adrian's chest, still koala-beared onto him.]
Neither of us are fucking good with words, so let's just both admit now that talk is cheap and actions are louder or whatever the fuck the phrase is. [Eloquent.] I get what you're trying to say. I'm not mad at you.
I spent literally 45 minutes digging through threads trying to find this word u better appreciate it
[Where Adrian has a knack for flustering Rosso, Rosso sure knows how to completely catch him off guard pretty much at every opportunity. He had already worried that just doing this much would be too far when they’d just been having a pretty serious argument, so to have Rosso reposition himself so that he’s sitting up on his hips, well. He doesn’t feel quite so bad now about wishing he’d done that from the outset, even if it leaves him extremely hyper aware of. Everything. Just everything.
Adrian’s whiskers twitch for a moment, his expression a bit goofy with his surprise, before he settles on adopting a less firm, more relaxed grip at Rosso’s hips now that he’s holding onto him better. Maybe he’ll just hold onto his thighs instead….yeah.
Anyway……
They’ve kissed, but everything still feels like so much all at once as they embrace by the stove, and Adrian is certain Rosso can feel his stupid heart beating way too hard deep in his chest.]
…couldn’t agree more.
[Trying to navigate a normal conversation can be a minefield for Adrian on a good day, after all. And while they’ve so far managed to work around each others’ various eccentricies…he hates to imagine what a “real” fight between them would look like. But that’s what he signed up for, and he’s willing to deal with that if and when it comes, for Rosso’s sake.
He rests his head against the other’s for a long moment, wracking his brain. Trying to remember…]
[Yeah, just hold onto the thighs, they're thick and soft and clearly strong enough to crush a watermelon, what with all that running and jumping he does. It's a good thing he wore shorts today, this could've been worse.
For what it's worth, though, Rosso does something of a snort-laugh at Adrian's affections.]
Told ya I'd have you fluent soon. [That's not fluent, that's just a bunch of words used for flirting. Words which, to be frank, Rosso never saw himself using ever?] Just need to teach you how to write it now.
[In actual Korean Elrian letters.]
...promise you, I won't be letting anyone snoop through our business, though. If someone did, full permission to hand their ass to them. We'll make it a race.
Which I'd win.
[See, you can tell they're back to normal again because this is where Rosso's brain goes—]
[At least Rosso is receiving it well! He had the slightest twinge of worry that he might take offense to just how horrifically he's butchering these words, because rest assured he will continue to pronounce them badly.
His expression softens a touch as he keeps Rosso held close, their foreheads still touching while whatever Rosso is making for their dinner bubbles audibly on the stove behind him. Dangerously close, but it's fine, Adrian probably won't let his tail catch fire.]
...'preciate it, babe.
[OH we're breaking that out now, okay]
And...next time I got some kinda beef, I'll try to...talk to you 'bout it normal first.
[You know, before he breaks the door down screaming. If Rosso can get better about that, so can he.]
[Rosso just has to stop his tail from wagging, this is fine, surely he will not stick his tail In the food or On the burners. Nothing bad could ever happen.
"Babe" though... that slots into Adrian's magical superpower over flustering the hell out of him. Thanks.]
Speakin' of beef... [this isn't about the food, surprisingly,] You didn't say that right earlier. Try saying it with the tip of your tongue behind your bottom teeth. [Then, slowly:] Nae. Sarang.
[This is surely going to lead into something, somehow. Either a tropey makeout or Adrian just dropping Rosso onto the floor, either one.]
[Adrian smirks, his tail twitching behind him as Rosso tries to instruct him on the proper use of Elrian words. Now, he COULD just drop Rosso, but he doesn't really want to do that...he can think of something better.]
Lessee...
[He sticks his tongue out for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to position it, before saying with all the confidence in the world:]
Nee Sorange.
[Is he being a shit on purpose? Is he just having that much trouble?
[Were Rosso not being held up by his thighs and sheer force of gay will, he WOULD knee Adrian in the stomach. Probably. Instead, he just tsks and shakes his head.]
You're stupid. [(Affectionate)] It's a light "a" sound, and the "g" shouldn't be a hard sound like what you just butchered.
[Here, Rosso leans in closer, somehow, head tilted and his lips mere centimetres from Adrian's. In a much lower voice, still as slow as the last time he helpfully said the word, he repeats:]
Nae. Sarang.
It's easy if you'd put your tongue in the right place.
[Oh hello. Rosso leans in close, practically murmuring the syllables against Adrian's muzzle, causing his whiskers to twitch again. His paws shift as well, kneading slightly against Rosso's very plush thighs.]
...Nae-
[Adrian closes the gap between them mid-word, catching Rosso in a kiss. A kiss with tongue this time, thanks, enough so that by the time Adrian pulls away again, his tongue is still lolling from his mouth and Rosso's lips are left just slightly glistening from it.
[Woof. Yeah, Rosso may have started that and definitely expected something like this — and don't ask him where his burst of confidence came from, he doesn't know either — but it's so much different than his brief head image had been. "Wouldn't this be kind of cute" turns very quickly into "oh, oh no, oh god oh fuck", and he's damn lucky his tail doesn't wag this time or else the moment would be killed.
Rosso runs his own tongue along his bottom lip like that's going to clear the slight mess Adrian made up. This has the opposite effect, unsurprisingly, but it does let Rosso get one last taste in.]
Good boy. See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
[Something tells him Adrian's going to continue butchering words if this is gonna be part of the lesson, though.]
Guess not...but I might need you to teach me some of the others sometimes. Kinda hard, with my fangs and all.
[So yes, Rosso is ABSOLUTELY correct that this is not and will not be the last time Adrian butchers Elrian...
As much as he'd love to keep holding him though, he does finally move to set Rosso back down on the floor, reaching out to...sort of awkwardly tug down the front of his apron, it got bunched up between them during all of that.]
Anyway, uh. We good?
[Until the next argument, or meltdown, or whatever else. But hey, that's all part of being in a relationship, ain't it?]
I wouldn't let you shove your whole-ass tongue into my mouth if I were pissed at you still.
[That, or he'd let it happen and bite said tongue off.
With his paws back on the floors, though, he makes his way back over to the stove and stirs. The good thing about things that boil in pots is that they're difficult to overcook, and maybe that extra few minutes on the stove will help make the broth a bit thicker since Rosso pretty much stirred it too thin when he was freaking out earlier. And, well, the food is done, so...
The stove gets turned off so the apartment doesn't burn down, the giant pot is removed from the burner, and Rosso makes a short march around the kitchen to grab bowls and silverware.]
Hope you're hungry. It's gamjatang — "pork bone soup". Too many ingredients to explain aloud. Potatoes, pork, napa cabbage, bean sprouts, and a whole buncha leaves, that's all you need to know.
[And onions and spices and ginger and fish sauce and— well, you get it. Point is, soup goes in bowl, and gets garnished with perilla leaves, and then set out on the counter for Adrian to pick up with his big manticore paws whenever he wants it. Which is hopefully soon, because cold soup sucks.]
The pork is on the bone, [he cautions knowingly,] do not eat the fucking bone.
[Rosso, who is a werewolf, will probably gnaw on the bones bUT LISTEN! Listen!! He doesn't want Adrian to take a bite and choke, okay?]
[Uh oh, is this how Rosso is going to find out that Adrian occasionally can't help but chew on the bones of his kills because uhhhhh-
He tracks Rosso's progress around the kitchen with his eyes (it probably feels VERY much like being watched by a predator actually, sorry) until he makes it back around to the counter with a piping hot bowl prepared just for him. Of course he's going to take it now, but he won't eat it in here like a normal person. He's going to go into the den and have it on the couch where he can be comfortable, thank you very much.]
Smells good...
[Damn good, one might say. Like, if someone asked him if he started dating Rosso for the food, he's...not sure he'd be able to say they were ENTIRELY wrong. Rosso feeds him like no one he's ever met, not since his mother was around anyway. And because of that, it's...comforting. As comforting as it is appreciated, since otherwise Adrian just flat out wouldn't bother. He'd just do his hunting and survive on that, as well as the occasional nights he goes out to that ramen place he mentioned before.
He's manspreading because of course he is, but there's still room for Rosso to come sit next to him if he'd like. Miraculous, given how much room Adrian takes up when he isn't manspreading.]
Sometimes I wonder if you're tryn'a fatten me up or somethin'.
[As long as he doesn't choke, who is Rosso to judge? Rosso's a dog right now.
He trundles over to the couch with his own bowl, stares at the way Adrian is sitting, and makes himself comfortable on the one bit of couch that ISN'T taken up by his huge-ass boyfriend. Sigh.]
No, I'm trying to make sure your feral ass doesn't starve to death. [Rosso please it was obviously sarcastic—] Besides, this is...
[His face scrunches up.]
...one of the only "normal" things I can do and not completely fuck up. This and a passable amount of guitar.
[The guitar he did not serenade Adrian with, thank you very much, the mere idea flusters him beyond belief.]
Made too much, though, so you'd better have seconds.
No fuckin' way. You never told me you could play a guitar.
[Says Adrian, resident "can't play any instruments at all". It manages to both sound genuine and teasing all at the same time as Adrian tucks in, either unbothered by the fact it's probably still lava temperature, or he's just used to it from all of his years of being heat resistant. Or, most likely, he just doesn't care.]
And listen, I might be feral, but one thing I ain't gonna do is starve. I can just hunt wild animals if I really gotta.
[Which implies yes, he does just hunt deer and shit in the forest like an ACTUAL animal. It's not unlike how he lived in Idai though, he just couldn't eat meat at all back then...which made his options for survival considerably slimmer.]
Back in Felfri... dunno if you showed up to the peace concert at all, but I was one of the idiots on stage playing music. It was a good thing until some goody-goodies crashed the party and I nearly burned the whole place down by accident.
[Rosso.]
...I don't have much experience. Just picked it up as a hobby to bide time. I wasn't the only Master who knew how to play an instrument. Ventus played this stupid chime harp thing [this is a real instrument] and Ebalon knew piano. Not like we ever played together or anything.
[Ventus was always too busy trying to use the fucking CHIME HARP to flirt with people, and Ebalon ?????? yeah.]
I can't compose to save my damn life, though. I'm not eloquent like that. Just playing shit I know or heard on the radio or something like that.
[Like trying to avoid people, for the most part. He does think he remembers hearing about it from Nanami though, he just...doubts he would have really been a welcome addition. Not that he could have really contributed anyway.
Adrian pauses to dig out a potato from his bowl to pop into his mouth before continuing, none-too-subtly letting his tail curl around Rosso behind where he's sitting on the couch.]
That's still a lot though. You ain't gotta know how to write music to make it.
[Or something.]
My, uh. My old man. He used to play guitar. [He continues, his voice a bit lower.] He'd play to get us little shits to go to bed, some nights.
[Actually, it was every night they asked. So, almost every night period.
He looks at Rosso out of the corner of his eye after a moment, the furry tip of his tail flicking against Rosso's knee while being careful to keep the stinger contained within.]
[Rosso listens, quietly, chewing on a thick piece of pork with the end of the bone sticking out between his lips. Mental notes here and there... "fair point" to the first thing, "old man, huh?" to the second thing... nothing he says aloud, just things he files away. He's about halfway through said piece of meat when Adrian asks that, and in his shock and bluster he quite nearly drops it back into his bowl.
By some miracle of reflexes, he manages to grab the bone to take it out of his mouth before it falls out.]
I guess. It isn't gonna be fucking impressive, that's for damn sure.
[Rosso honey you played at a concert it's at least that good.]
—I can't fucking sing, either, [he sputters as an afterthought,] so I'm still not serenading you, for your information. [uh-huh.]
[Not that he would have stopped him, of course. His dad absolutely sang to them, and it wasn’t like he could really sing either.
Adrian has been eyeing Rosso this whole time though, so he definitely catches the way he gets all red when he says that. Cute, he thinks as he fishes a piece of pork out for himself. For a half second he considers asking Rosso if he’s ever considered making this monster grade- you know- but decides this probably is not the time nor place.
He will wonder though as his fangs gouge the bone, rattling audibly in his jaws.]
Ain’t like I got any weird talents to trade you for it anyway. Not unless you count knowin’ which mushrooms won’t kill me a talent.
[He will not make it monster-grade because he still experiences complete blackout dissociations whenever he has to feed on someone, thanks — he'll stick with his animal meat. It's not doing anything for him nowadays, but it's a sense of normalcy and god dammit, that's what he needs, otherwise he thinks he'll go insane again.]
It's helpful on expeditions and the sort for sure. [Remember how Elrians are constantly outside adventuring? Yeahhhhh.] In the Demon Realm, there's all kinds of weird shit. Apples with aphrodisiacs in 'em, lemons that you cut them open and the flesh of the fruit is an eyeball, ferns that don't stop wriggling even after they've been cooked... shit like that. Being able to look at shit and say "that's gonna kill me" is useful.
Who knows, you would've probably made it there. Possibly.
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flammadecinis) wrote2022-05-15 03:26 pm
no subject
Frankly, he can't, as it requires a certain level of self-control and awareness that Rosso severely lacks. Perhaps it says something, then, that his anger goes from explosive to quiet.]
I don't half-ass anything. I was fucking terrified to ask in the first place 'cause I figured you wouldn't want that sort of thing. [Adrian probably saw it, even, how he mentioned that to Sparkling loosely. Sparkling being one of the only people who gave him real advice, next to Rose Quartz and Maya... and Kaito's ever-helpful "be brave" pep-talks.] I didn't want to say something and lose a friend just because I got these stupid-ass feelings.
Already let it slip that I'm fond of you... multiple times before that point anyway. ["I'm soft for you" and "you're my favourite" and all.] Of course it meant a lot to me, having a bunch of people try to help, even though I wound up fucking it all up anyway.
[Like he knew he would.]
If I had someone to go to about this shit I would've gone there first... but I don't. And I don't know what the hell I'm doing still, because all my stupid little ideas come from books and stuff online like that. I don't know what you're so fucking mad about, if it's that I didn't do something right or made that idiotic post, but I don't know what he fuck else you want me to do. I'm not a fucking mind-reader.
no subject
He fucked up.
Adrian stands dumbly in the middle of Rosso's living room as he talks, but he doesn't say anything or interrupt him. He lets him finish, lets him say his piece, because it's what Adrian wanted, right? An explanation. He came in here guns blazing because he saw that post and got all flustered over it, and didn't really even stop to consider why Rosso even made it in the first place. It wasn't just on a whim or to be at his expense or anything like that. He was...trying, even if it ended up being kindof silly.
It's more than Adrian did, which was nothing. It isn't like Rosso wasn't giving him every sign under the sun that the feelings were there, he just chose to ignore it because "no way somebody could like me like that". It's just impossible, right?
And yeah, Adrian knows better than most how alone Rosso is. He doesn't have any of the Masters to go to for advice. The people here were really his only recourse, and the same goes for Adrian in most cases.
Adrian finally moves after what feels like an eternity, stepping soundlessly from the den into the kitchen proper. As much as he wants to come close, he doesn't invade Rosso's space right now because he knows good and well it probably isn't wanted. It's not hard to tell just from his tone of voice that his feelings have been hurt, and for what? Adrian not taking a half second to rub two braincells together.
He's not good at it, but it's time to try to use those words he's too busy keeping locked in his head all the time.]
What you did for me...what you keep doin' is some of the nicest shit anyone has ever done for me, and I won't hesitate to kick your ass if you dare say you fucked anythin' up again.
[...okay, bad start. He inhales through his teeth, pulling a hand through his mane until his claws get stuck and he has to awkwardly shake it free.]
I'm...Ainen, I'm sorry. I came in here runnin' my mouth 'bout shit that I don't know nothin' 'bout. It ain't like I know what the hell I'm doin' either. I've...I've never even tried to do anythin' like this before.
...not like you have.
[...]
All I've done is sit with my thumb up my ass. I'm only here cause'a you.
[And...maybe there's something messed up in his brain that recognizes Rosso as one of the best things that's ever happened to him, and in some wild fit of self depreciation is trying everything it can to destroy it. That, or maybe Adrian is just...thick-headed at the best of times, and has a knack for putting both feet in his mouth at once.
He chances stepping a bit closer until he's standing by the stove, just a few feet away from Rosso within touching distance while still giving him space.]
I didn't mean to make you feel like you messed up.
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With a sigh, he turns to look up at Adrian, quickly looking away a half-beat later when he thinks his expression must look pathetic or something of the sort.]
It's hard not to feel like that when you burst in here yelling up a goddamn storm.
[Just being honest!]
If I fucking... freaked you out or whatever, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you on the spot, either. You weren't even supposed to fucking find out about it.
[It's not a great disguise when his username is literally "b99", you know, his subject designation because he couldn't think of anything better — but yeah. Seems a little odd for Adrian to be scrolling back through a month of network posts like that when there are a bajillion of them, but Rosso's not in the mindset to question it at this point. Maybe he was just looking for an old post of his or something and stumbled on that by happenstance. That's believable.]
But I don't get what the hell you want me to do, still. Do you want me to take one of those dumb suggestions? Do you want fucking nachos or a sea monster head or me to start wearing sunglasses everywhere? I need to know what you're actually mad about, here.
[You know. So they can get on the same page. Because it seems odd to Rosso that Adrian comes in here yelling, asking for a "point" and then reminding Rosso that he didn't take any of the advice, only to backtrack when Rosso gets defensive about the entire situation. There's a puzzle piece missing somewhere.]
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The fact that Rosso can't even look at him right now stings, yet he doesn't feel like he deserves any different when he's the one acting like a fool.]
I don't...want you to do anythin'. I mean...you can do whatever you want, but like...I don't want you to feel like you gotta do somethin' specific or special for me.
[I don't deserve it]
...look. It ain't an excuse, I'll say that up front, but sometimes I just...this fuckin' monster brain, or whatever, it makes me... [He shakes his head, his lip curling. He knows what he's trying to say, but finding the words is hard.] ...I guess you're right in sayin' that post did kinda freak me out a little. Not 'cause of anythin' you did or said, but more like...I saw it, and all I could think about was people pryin' into our business. Your business. Like, I know you asked for advice, but all I could see was people fuckin' with you, and it made me...mad. Like I needed to go say somethin' or do somethin' on a post that's months old by now.
[His throat flexes, because he knows what he's about to say is...insane, but it's the best way he can describe it.]
You're mine now. And the territorial part of my stupid brain wants to keep you an' whatever we're doin' all to myself. It's exactly what I did with that bitch, and I know it, but I...it ain't somethin' I've gotten a handle on yet.
But it ain't all instinct, or whatever. I just don't think before I run my mouth.
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Maybe Rosso should treat being told someone's feeling territorial over him like an issue, but... he does not. In fact, if there was a red flag here (and normally, there would be), it's not waving. He's sort of weirdly charmed by it, actually; Elria knows Rosso is equally overprotective, if not more so. He's just... you know, not able to point fingers at shit people do on the internet, mostly because he doesn't really Get the internet. Nor does he quite see advice as an invasion of privacy no matter which way he slices it.
Privacy, though, that is important, because while Rosso doesn't see the network post as an issue... well, he wouldn't have done it off anon either. Partly because he, at the time, didn't want Adrian just seeing that and getting the wrong idea or finding him out when Rosso wasn't too sure if the whole arrangement would work anyway, and partly because people are freaks and stalkers and who knows if someone would've dm'ed him later to ask if he'd "gone through with it" or "how'd your date go" or all manner of invasive things. It was bad enough having Rose Quartz imply that they were Definitely going to fuck at some point (like, that's a known thing that happens, but Rosso doesn't need a timeline), what would people do if he were off-anon saying he'd gone on a date? Count down for him? No thanks.
Rosso doesn't like the spotlight either. And now that they're on the same page, he can at least... well, he doesn't know, because chances are he's going to have to ask someone for more advice at some point so he can get a nice gift or do something right without looking like an idiot. But he knows now, and that's good. It's a start.]
I'm always trying to do things special for you, stupid, that's the point of a relationship. [He thinks.] ...I don't want people up in our shit either. I'm a private person most of the time. It's why I did that whole thing anonymously, like one of those stupid newspapers you send questions to and some under-qualified "life guru" gives you a response in a week. Same shit, different medium.
[...]
Y'know... [Enabling: begin.] You're allowed to be territorial over me. I am yours. I didn't kiss you because I wanted to fuck around.
[Like. He wants to fuck around, but in the gay way, not in any negative ways.]
Maybe... I want you to be a little possessive.
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...and that's fine. Like. ...I make more anon posts than I do real ones. You've prob'ly seen 'em by now.
[Hell, Rosso has commented to several. Adrian's sure he's figured it out at this point.]
So like. Don't think you gotta not make any anymore. It's fine, really.
[Adrian will get over it, he's just got to work through his emotions like a Big Boy.
And that would be that, he thinks...if it weren't for the fact that Rosso keeps talking, and he says that he wants Adrian to be posessive, and he can feel his tail actually curl in response. He wants that...?
...okay, fuck it, he's not just going to keep standing here like a dumbass. He crosses the rest of the space separating them, and since Rosso has turned to face him (he just isn't looking at him), it's easier for Adrian to reach out and tentatively put his padded hands on Rosso's hips. He doesn't do anything, he just...rests them there, warm and soft, to keep a point of contact going as he talks.]
You really do make me mad as hell sometimes, but it's always gonna be over like...dumb shit, okay? Shit that don't matter. So when it matters, I...wanna try to be better about not doin' that. I'd never forgive myself if I fucked up a good thing just cause I can't keep myself under control.
...and. I.
[His ears droop, nearly invisible in his mane.]
Fuck, Ainen.
[Why is it so hard to just....
His paws shift a little, and without thinking he lifts Rosso up, suddenly. Impulsively, like most things he does these days. If there wasn't a hot stove literally right there he would have done this differently, but whatever. He holds Rosso up, chest-to-chest with Rosso's feet not touching the ground, and he kisses him. A bit tentatively, but purposeful. Apologetic. It lasts just for a moment before they part, and Adrian moves his grip on Rosso to pull him into a real, honest to god hug for once.]
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The first is that, somehow, he can always manage to fluster the hell out of Rosso no matter what he does. Hands on his hips? Fluster. Calling this "a good thing"? Correct, but he's flustered. Picking him up with zero effort and kissing him? Guess what—
And speaking of being picked up... Adrian's second power is that he somehow manages to make Rosso feel shorter than he is. It's an impressive feat. The tallest person Rosso ever met in his life was Gaia at a whopping 6'5", and this feels a little bit like when Gaia would carry Rosso out of fights physically, but like. This is way more romantic and not because Rosso was going to punch someone. So it's better.
All of that being said, Rosso squeaks when picked up, a squeak which is quickly cut off by a kiss. Instinctually, his arms wrap around Adrian's neck to tangle his fingers with his mane, as he so often does... and then from there, it's maybe a little awkward to have his legs just dangling like that, so he quickly wraps them around Adrian's hips. Now, he doesn't feel like he's going to fall. Great news, though! This has unforeseen consequences in furthering the fluster, which he mentally blames on Adrian.
Everything is Adrian's fault now.
The hug, though, that's nice, and Rosso settles comfortably against Adrian's chest, still koala-beared onto him.]
Neither of us are fucking good with words, so let's just both admit now that talk is cheap and actions are louder or whatever the fuck the phrase is. [Eloquent.] I get what you're trying to say. I'm not mad at you.
I spent literally 45 minutes digging through threads trying to find this word u better appreciate it
Adrian’s whiskers twitch for a moment, his expression a bit goofy with his surprise, before he settles on adopting a less firm, more relaxed grip at Rosso’s hips now that he’s holding onto him better. Maybe he’ll just hold onto his thighs instead….yeah.
Anyway……
They’ve kissed, but everything still feels like so much all at once as they embrace by the stove, and Adrian is certain Rosso can feel his stupid heart beating way too hard deep in his chest.]
…couldn’t agree more.
[Trying to navigate a normal conversation can be a minefield for Adrian on a good day, after all. And while they’ve so far managed to work around each others’ various eccentricies…he hates to imagine what a “real” fight between them would look like. But that’s what he signed up for, and he’s willing to deal with that if and when it comes, for Rosso’s sake.
He rests his head against the other’s for a long moment, wracking his brain. Trying to remember…]
Nae sarang.
https://www.90daykorean.com/korean-terms-of-endearment/
For what it's worth, though, Rosso does something of a snort-laugh at Adrian's affections.]
Told ya I'd have you fluent soon. [That's not fluent, that's just a bunch of words used for flirting. Words which, to be frank, Rosso never saw himself using ever?] Just need to teach you how to write it now.
[In actual
KoreanElrian letters.]...promise you, I won't be letting anyone snoop through our business, though. If someone did, full permission to hand their ass to them. We'll make it a race.
Which I'd win.
[See, you can tell they're back to normal again because this is where Rosso's brain goes—]
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[At least Rosso is receiving it well! He had the slightest twinge of worry that he might take offense to just how horrifically he's butchering these words, because rest assured he will continue to pronounce them badly.
His expression softens a touch as he keeps Rosso held close, their foreheads still touching while whatever Rosso is making for their dinner bubbles audibly on the stove behind him. Dangerously close, but it's fine, Adrian probably won't let his tail catch fire.]
...'preciate it, babe.
[OH we're breaking that out now, okay]
And...next time I got some kinda beef, I'll try to...talk to you 'bout it normal first.
[You know, before he breaks the door down screaming. If Rosso can get better about that, so can he.]
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"Babe" though... that slots into Adrian's magical superpower over flustering the hell out of him. Thanks.]
Speakin' of beef... [this isn't about the food, surprisingly,] You didn't say that right earlier. Try saying it with the tip of your tongue behind your bottom teeth. [Then, slowly:] Nae. Sarang.
[This is surely going to lead into something, somehow. Either a tropey makeout or Adrian just dropping Rosso onto the floor, either one.]
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[Adrian smirks, his tail twitching behind him as Rosso tries to instruct him on the proper use of Elrian words. Now, he COULD just drop Rosso, but he doesn't really want to do that...he can think of something better.]
Lessee...
[He sticks his tongue out for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to position it, before saying with all the confidence in the world:]
Nee Sorange.
[Is he being a shit on purpose? Is he just having that much trouble?
Who can say......]
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You're stupid. [(Affectionate)] It's a light "a" sound, and the "g" shouldn't be a hard sound like what you just butchered.
[Here, Rosso leans in closer, somehow, head tilted and his lips mere centimetres from Adrian's. In a much lower voice, still as slow as the last time he helpfully said the word, he repeats:]
Nae. Sarang.
It's easy if you'd put your tongue in the right place.
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...Nae-
[Adrian closes the gap between them mid-word, catching Rosso in a kiss. A kiss with tongue this time, thanks, enough so that by the time Adrian pulls away again, his tongue is still lolling from his mouth and Rosso's lips are left just slightly glistening from it.
And he smirks.]
Sarang.
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Rosso runs his own tongue along his bottom lip like that's going to clear the slight mess Adrian made up. This has the opposite effect, unsurprisingly, but it does let Rosso get one last taste in.]
Good boy. See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
[Something tells him Adrian's going to continue butchering words if this is gonna be part of the lesson, though.]
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[So yes, Rosso is ABSOLUTELY correct that this is not and will not be the last time Adrian butchers Elrian...
As much as he'd love to keep holding him though, he does finally move to set Rosso back down on the floor, reaching out to...sort of awkwardly tug down the front of his apron, it got bunched up between them during all of that.]
Anyway, uh. We good?
[Until the next argument, or meltdown, or whatever else. But hey, that's all part of being in a relationship, ain't it?]
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[That, or he'd let it happen and bite said tongue off.
With his paws back on the floors, though, he makes his way back over to the stove and stirs. The good thing about things that boil in pots is that they're difficult to overcook, and maybe that extra few minutes on the stove will help make the broth a bit thicker since Rosso pretty much stirred it too thin when he was freaking out earlier. And, well, the food is done, so...
The stove gets turned off so the apartment doesn't burn down, the giant pot is removed from the burner, and Rosso makes a short march around the kitchen to grab bowls and silverware.]
Hope you're hungry. It's gamjatang — "pork bone soup". Too many ingredients to explain aloud. Potatoes, pork, napa cabbage, bean sprouts, and a whole buncha leaves, that's all you need to know.
[And onions and spices and ginger and fish sauce and— well, you get it. Point is, soup goes in bowl, and gets garnished with perilla leaves, and then set out on the counter for Adrian to pick up with his big manticore paws whenever he wants it. Which is hopefully soon, because cold soup sucks.]
The pork is on the bone, [he cautions knowingly,] do not eat the fucking bone.
[Rosso, who is a werewolf, will probably gnaw on the bones bUT LISTEN! Listen!! He doesn't want Adrian to take a bite and choke, okay?]
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He tracks Rosso's progress around the kitchen with his eyes (it probably feels VERY much like being watched by a predator actually, sorry) until he makes it back around to the counter with a piping hot bowl prepared just for him. Of course he's going to take it now, but he won't eat it in here like a normal person. He's going to go into the den and have it on the couch where he can be comfortable, thank you very much.]
Smells good...
[Damn good, one might say. Like, if someone asked him if he started dating Rosso for the food, he's...not sure he'd be able to say they were ENTIRELY wrong. Rosso feeds him like no one he's ever met, not since his mother was around anyway. And because of that, it's...comforting. As comforting as it is appreciated, since otherwise Adrian just flat out wouldn't bother. He'd just do his hunting and survive on that, as well as the occasional nights he goes out to that ramen place he mentioned before.
He's manspreading because of course he is, but there's still room for Rosso to come sit next to him if he'd like. Miraculous, given how much room Adrian takes up when he isn't manspreading.]
Sometimes I wonder if you're tryn'a fatten me up or somethin'.
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He trundles over to the couch with his own bowl, stares at the way Adrian is sitting, and makes himself comfortable on the one bit of couch that ISN'T taken up by his huge-ass boyfriend. Sigh.]
No, I'm trying to make sure your feral ass doesn't starve to death. [Rosso please it was obviously sarcastic—] Besides, this is...
[His face scrunches up.]
...one of the only "normal" things I can do and not completely fuck up. This and a passable amount of guitar.
[The guitar he did not serenade Adrian with, thank you very much, the mere idea flusters him beyond belief.]
Made too much, though, so you'd better have seconds.
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No fuckin' way. You never told me you could play a guitar.
[Says Adrian, resident "can't play any instruments at all". It manages to both sound genuine and teasing all at the same time as Adrian tucks in, either unbothered by the fact it's probably still lava temperature, or he's just used to it from all of his years of being heat resistant. Or, most likely, he just doesn't care.]
And listen, I might be feral, but one thing I ain't gonna do is starve. I can just hunt wild animals if I really gotta.
[Which implies yes, he does just hunt deer and shit in the forest like an ACTUAL animal. It's not unlike how he lived in Idai though, he just couldn't eat meat at all back then...which made his options for survival considerably slimmer.]
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[Huh.]
Back in Felfri... dunno if you showed up to the peace concert at all, but I was one of the idiots on stage playing music. It was a good thing until some goody-goodies crashed the party and I nearly burned the whole place down by accident.
[Rosso.]
...I don't have much experience. Just picked it up as a hobby to bide time. I wasn't the only Master who knew how to play an instrument. Ventus played this stupid chime harp thing [this is a real instrument] and Ebalon knew piano. Not like we ever played together or anything.
[Ventus was always too busy trying to use the fucking CHIME HARP to flirt with people, and Ebalon ?????? yeah.]
I can't compose to save my damn life, though. I'm not eloquent like that. Just playing shit I know or heard on the radio or something like that.
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[Like trying to avoid people, for the most part. He does think he remembers hearing about it from Nanami though, he just...doubts he would have really been a welcome addition. Not that he could have really contributed anyway.
Adrian pauses to dig out a potato from his bowl to pop into his mouth before continuing, none-too-subtly letting his tail curl around Rosso behind where he's sitting on the couch.]
That's still a lot though. You ain't gotta know how to write music to make it.
[Or something.]
My, uh. My old man. He used to play guitar. [He continues, his voice a bit lower.] He'd play to get us little shits to go to bed, some nights.
[Actually, it was every night they asked. So, almost every night period.
He looks at Rosso out of the corner of his eye after a moment, the furry tip of his tail flicking against Rosso's knee while being careful to keep the stinger contained within.]
You're gonna show me sometime, yeah?
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By some miracle of reflexes, he manages to grab the bone to take it out of his mouth before it falls out.]
I guess. It isn't gonna be fucking impressive, that's for damn sure.
[Rosso honey you played at a concert it's at least that good.]
—I can't fucking sing, either, [he sputters as an afterthought,] so I'm still not serenading you, for your information. [uh-huh.]
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[Not that he would have stopped him, of course. His dad absolutely sang to them, and it wasn’t like he could really sing either.
Adrian has been eyeing Rosso this whole time though, so he definitely catches the way he gets all red when he says that. Cute, he thinks as he fishes a piece of pork out for himself. For a half second he considers asking Rosso if he’s ever considered making this monster grade- you know- but decides this probably is not the time nor place.
He will wonder though as his fangs gouge the bone, rattling audibly in his jaws.]
Ain’t like I got any weird talents to trade you for it anyway. Not unless you count knowin’ which mushrooms won’t kill me a talent.
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It's helpful on expeditions and the sort for sure. [Remember how Elrians are constantly outside adventuring? Yeahhhhh.] In the Demon Realm, there's all kinds of weird shit. Apples with aphrodisiacs in 'em, lemons that you cut them open and the flesh of the fruit is an eyeball, ferns that don't stop wriggling even after they've been cooked... shit like that. Being able to look at shit and say "that's gonna kill me" is useful.
Who knows, you would've probably made it there. Possibly.
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