[Rosso's rather flippant summary of how he died is one thing — he doesn't want to think of it beyond the most basic level of "it happened, oh well", because it's easier to pretend it's just another Haha-Funny-War-Casualty issue than it is something that bothers him. The fact that he was defenseless bothers him. He's never been defenseless; it took thirteen barely-adults in Varnimyr to quell his 500-year-long rage and knock him out long enough for Ventus to drag him back home. Thirteen people couldn't stand against Rosso, let alone entire armies back before he got stuck here.
So why, why, why was he helpless? Because she was immune to everything he could possibly do? The city had burned alongside him, the street up in smoke until he couldn't muster a single flame anymore, and Rosso knows that's what power feels like. Yet he was nothing. Nothing, and he hates every second he's forced to recall it. It's almost worse than being locked in a lab for most of his life, worse than being nominated Fire Master, almost worse than five hundred years of wishing someone would save him. Funnily enough, the world always told him he'd burn out eventually, and then there he was. An empty, flameless husk.
Adrian's anger, though, that's another thing entirely. Anger has never caught Rosso off-guard — he's a walking inferno of rage — but it does. It does when it's Adrian, who had been so stalwart while Rosso faced his demons in the maze, an anchor in the storm while he fessed up to losing his mind and going insane, an ever-welcome presence while Rosso braided flowers into his hair and they spoke of Misha. He's known, of course, that Adrian's temper is akin to his; it's an observation he made long ago when he was trying to kick out windshields and when he nearly got his head bitten off for calling the guy a "kitty".
Still, though, in some ways, it's confusing. The defensive part of him wonders why Adrian would get mad, as if it matters since Rosso came back. That same part refuses to acknowledge that people care, still, to this day. The logical part... well, it knows better.
But it would be easier if you didn't care in the first place, you idiot.]
What, you're gonna throw yourself to the wolves now?! Gonna scour all of Bavan and the next couple towns over until you get lucky? Don't be a fucking idiot. What the fuck would— [would that accomplish? would be the point?] —would I do if she killed you, too?!
SQUEEZES YOU IN SOLIDARITY
So why, why, why was he helpless? Because she was immune to everything he could possibly do? The city had burned alongside him, the street up in smoke until he couldn't muster a single flame anymore, and Rosso knows that's what power feels like. Yet he was nothing. Nothing, and he hates every second he's forced to recall it. It's almost worse than being locked in a lab for most of his life, worse than being nominated Fire Master, almost worse than five hundred years of wishing someone would save him. Funnily enough, the world always told him he'd burn out eventually, and then there he was. An empty, flameless husk.
Adrian's anger, though, that's another thing entirely. Anger has never caught Rosso off-guard — he's a walking inferno of rage — but it does. It does when it's Adrian, who had been so stalwart while Rosso faced his demons in the maze, an anchor in the storm while he fessed up to losing his mind and going insane, an ever-welcome presence while Rosso braided flowers into his hair and they spoke of Misha. He's known, of course, that Adrian's temper is akin to his; it's an observation he made long ago when he was trying to kick out windshields and when he nearly got his head bitten off for calling the guy a "kitty".
Still, though, in some ways, it's confusing. The defensive part of him wonders why Adrian would get mad, as if it matters since Rosso came back. That same part refuses to acknowledge that people care, still, to this day. The logical part... well, it knows better.
But it would be easier if you didn't care in the first place, you idiot.]
What, you're gonna throw yourself to the wolves now?! Gonna scour all of Bavan and the next couple towns over until you get lucky? Don't be a fucking idiot. What the fuck would— [would that accomplish? would be the point?] —would I do if she killed you, too?!